Thoughts on being (almost) halfway through college

I doubt any of the following thoughts will be unique but I still find it important that I type them out anyway. (Wow, that start sounded a lot more sardonic than I intended). What I mean is, I think most people are feeling what I’m feeling when I say that it’s all going by very quickly. Not in a bad way mind you. It just sort of surprises me.

I know I would depressed if I were standing still. If I weren’t making progress. But it’s only normal that I feel at least a little sad as I find myself already halfway through my time at college. Everything is so fast paced. I make friends in classes but before I know it, we’ve moved on to the next semester which brings on new classes and even more new friends.

Time drags but goes so fast at the same time. I think that midterms will never be over but once they are, I realize that there are only 6 weeks left in the semester. It’s very odd.

I think these thoughts occur mostly because there is a part of me that is pretty scared of what the world has in store for me beyond graduation. I feel like a “fake” adult right now. I don’t have a professional job and I’m mostly working on school. And school, though hard, is something I’m familiar with.

Growing up is so weird.

I want it to happen but when it does, I can’t help but think “I didn’t mean for it to all happen this fast.”

For me, growing up has been characterized not by being sad so much as being disoriented and confused. I don’t feel ready, but at the same time, everything I’ve been doing since grade school has been done to prepare me for this challenge of getting older. And I fully intend to meet it.

And it helps that I know, somewhere deeper than my feelings and bones that everything always ends up working out in the end.

So ready not, here life comes.

One thought on “Thoughts on being (almost) halfway through college

  1. I know what you mean, I look forward to what comes next but I don’t know if I’m ready to be done with school because school is something I know; school is safe – the world is big and adulting is intimidating.

    Liked by 2 people

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